TRANSCRIPT OF INTERVIEW

In this episode of Behind the Shield, we speak with Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm., about his Carmelite Journey and his life in ministry as a Carmelite. 

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): So today we are talking to Father Sam Citero here in St. Therese Parish in Creskill, New Jersey. And I’d kind of like to start from, first of all, thank you for taking the time to talk with us today. And I’d like to start with a little bit about you, how you found the Carmelites when you were young, discerned the Carmelites and came to the Carmelites.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): Okay, well, that’s a very interesting story, actually. And it goes back to 1969, 1970. when I was an 8th grader at St. Brendan’s School in Clifton, New Jersey. So in school, Sister had vocation day, and we had all kinds of brochures presented to us to go through, and people talked about vocations. And in those days, it was not unusual, in particularly Catholic schools, for young people to consider this way of life. And I was attracted to a brochure that was presented by the Carmelites. There were no Carmelites there. They had just sent brochures. And the brochure simply said, wherever men live and struggle for the meaning of life, there’s a longing for God.

Now you have to remember this was the 1960s into the 70s, very turbulent years. And I was very much at that age, and still am today, I’m proud to say, aware of social justice issues. And I was very a follower of Dr. Martin Luther King and the civil rights movement. And in those movements, if you recall, there were priests and nuns that walked with him. And I thought that was just where we ought to be as a church, as much as an 8th grader could think that. And this brochure, for some reason, touched me. And on the back of the brochure, when you opened it up, there was a silhouette of a Carmelite in prayer with the hood of the habit over it, no face. I later learned that was Father Jack Welch, who was the Carmelite in the photograph. I had never met or heard of the Carmelites before. Prior to coming to St. Brendan’s Church, I was at St. Anthony’s Church, which was Capuchin Franciscan in Passaic, New Jersey, where I was born. So I sent in the brochure, unbeknownst to my parents, and a phone call comes to the house. And the voice at the other end identifies himself as a Carmelite who was interested in coming to visit the family because I had expressed interest in the Carmelites. My mother was looking at me from the phone like, what did you do? The voice at the other end of the phone was Father Jack Russell. And he arrived at our house, and he and my parents became lifelong friends from that day forward. And he helped me to discern the Carmelites and coming to the Carmelites. And they took me to a vocation weekend at Hamilton. Went to the vocation weekend, thought the Carmelites were the best thing since sliced bread. These guys showed us a great time. They really did it up well. But Hamilton was in the middle of nowhere. And I was born in Passaic, New Jersey, above a store in downtown Passaic. And I was not comfortable in that environment of the rural, looking out the window and seeing the fields. So I told my parents, no, I like the Carmelites. I think they’re great people, but let’s keep looking.

I get a letter that says I’m accepted by the Carmelites into the seminary. However, they were moving the formation program from Hamilton to Niagara Falls, Canada. Sight unseen, now I’m 14 years old, 13 years old, I can go to another country. This was like an adventure. So off to Canada I went. And it was a love story that began and has never ended. I fell in love with Niagara. I am one of the last of the, what they call lifers. So I went right from the 8th grade into the high school seminary. had four phenomenal years in the seminary and high school. Again, it was that the Vatican Council had just kind of ended, and the church was, we were having mass on the mountaintops and using hamburger buns, and we were, anything that could be going on in the church to figure out where we were, the footing after the Vatican Council, it was happening. And they sent young Carmelites there, as our teachers, and they were just a terrific group of people. And we got through those years, and it was a marvelous experience.

I went on then to Marquette University in Milwaukee for my bachelor’s degree, and then to the novitiate. Our province did not have a novitiate at that time. We did not have a novice director. So I went to the, attended the novitiate with the New York province. That was before the novitiates were combined. So we were just simply guests of the New York novitiate, which was in Williamstown, Massachusetts. Again, another wonderful place to live for a year. It was walking distance to ski slopes and I skied, so it was fun. I had a good novitiate year, after which I came here to St. Therese’s Church for my internship. So I spent my first two years as a professed Carmelite here. That was 1979 to 1982. And then I went to Whitefriars Hall in Washington, D.C., where I received my master’s degree in divinity, was ordained. and went to my first assignment, which was Joliet Catholic High School in Joliet, Illinois, where I taught seniors for four years, as well as being campus minister.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): If I, and at the time, it was a boys school.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): It was before the merge. Before the merge. Yes, it was on Broadway. It was the old building on Broadway with the tower, the Victory Light. And again, another phenomenal experience. Father Bob Colarisi was part of the administrative staff. And Father Bernie Bauerle, it was just a group of just stellar Carmelites who were just wonderful mentors and guides. And I spent four years there and then decided if the guys were going to be able to go to college, I wanted to go to college. And I asked the Carmelites for permission to do campus ministry. which they allowed me to do, and I’m very grateful for that. And I received a position at DePaul University in downtown Chicago and spent the next 12 years there. And that was, again, yet another wonderful experience.

During those years, I also served part-time as vocation director. I worked along with Father Terry Fender and doing the vocation work. And was about 16 years after I had gone. So I was ordained about 16 years at this point and thought it might be time to come back. And so I began to investigate. I was looking at Georgetown University. At that point, I was a campus minister and that’s what I did. And also NYU. So I came here to interview at those places, and while that was going on, the provincial, Father Leo McCarthy said, can you go back to St. Therese just for one year to help out? Father Joe Atcher was the pastor, and he needs a little help. I said, okay, just for one year. That was in 2000, 25 years ago. So I stayed here, and then Father Joe O’Brien became the pastor, And we had a marvelous time together. And then I became the director of vocations. And so after five years as the parochial vicar here, I went back to Washington, D.C. as the director of vocations and stayed there for another five years, at which point Father Joe called me and said, I want to retire, but I don’t want to retire unless you come back here and take my place. So I said, Okay, I guess I’m never going back to a college campus at this point.

So I went back, I came back to Cresskill. That was 2011, 15 years ago. And I’ve been here ever since as pastor. And that brings us to this wonderful parish. It was my internship. It was my first place as a parish priest and now pastor. So almost 22 years of my 41 years of priesthood were spent here. And it’s a marvelous experience because when I was an intern, I was very involved in the young people’s lives. And today, those folks are grandparents. You know, you get to see a whole generation of people growing. And so it’s a wonderful thing. So that’s my vocation story, how I got to be here.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): Excellent. A little bit back to your formation years. Some of the other men that were there with you went on to continue in the Carmelites left, who were, you said some of the younger men that were ordained were professors, teachers there.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): Oh, so at, well, let me think for a minute. So at Niagara, Peter McGarry was my history teacher. And what a wonderful, what a joy that was. Peter McGarry was just a lot of fun. And he’s a phenomenal person with a heart. He’s just, he’s a St. really, in many ways. I mean, he’s, you know, him. But He just loves being a Carmelite, and he was just a great mentor. Father Pharaoh Cain is deceased, and Father Ray Clennon. Clennon, sorry, Ray. Our rector was Don Chigar. Ray Clennon was actually the rector as well, and Father Don, who became Father Michael Chigar. Paul Robinson, Terry Sempowski, just a bunch of them. Yeah. And then at Marquette, we had Aloysius Zaraki was there. JJ McCarthy, who was a phenomenal formator and a role model and a magnificent Carmelite to this day. He’s still with us. Cecil Pickert, just great guys, just great guys.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): When you were going through that period, a couple of questions on that. Was there a point during that, you had kind of, you’d made the decision, you knew you wanted to go into the priesthood, you found the Carmelites, it really resonated with you. But was there any time or event at all during that formation that something happened that stands out to you when you went, yes, this was the right choice, this is where I am supposed to be.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): I have to tell you, when I walked through the door at Niagara, 14 years old, and I looked up those staircases that go four stories high, I was home. And I knew it. I knew it from that minute that I was home. And that has never left me. and were there things, did I make mistakes? Were there things that I would change? but not that. Not stepping through the door. That I would never change. And I would do it again. I would do it all over again. Hopefully not making the mistakes I made, but hopefully, you know, I would, yeah, I just knew from that moment.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): And you say maybe you wouldn’t make the mistakes. I’m of the theory that the mistakes we made brought us to be the person they are today.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): They do. Yeah.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): Was there anyone, you mentioned Father Peter was a mentor and several other men. Was there anyone who really was a support to you, helped form you maybe through some of those little mistake periods that really stands out as being significant in your formation personally?

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): So I would say Father Terry Fender was a mentor to me in that sense. That, if he was about six or seven years older, but in those days, formation, we kind of knew each other. And I could imagine even now, sitting here, you know, I’m going this way and I could feel Terry saying, you don’t want to do that. You want to do this. and he, and gently and lovingly. Father Pat McMahon also was a good, taught me a lot of things about being myself and being a Carmelite and how to bring those two things together with authenticity, which is what people see. If you pretend to be something you’re not or someone you’re not, people will see right through that. You know, and so these Terry and Pat were who were very good friends, both of them are just gone now. They were who they were. They were real people and they were wonderful Carmelites, at least in my mind. So I would say that. And my teachers, Peter and people like that.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): When you’re serving in your ministries, and I want to come particularly to this one and some of the things that are unique about this particular ministry, how do you live specifically being a Carmelite when you’re serving in your ministries? That’s kind of a broad question, but you can think about that one for a little bit.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): So Carmelite to me is who I am. It’s not what I am. a pastor, a parish priest. But A Carmelite is who I am, and the Carmelites are my family. When I served as a campus minister, I lived on my own many of those years. Sometimes I lived at St. Gelasius in Woodlawn. I lived with the provincial in Kenwood for a while. Quinn Connors, when he was provincial, he’s another one I’d have to add to that list we were talking about before, of mentors and guides. But my Carmelite identity is wrapped up in the notion of a contemplative act of life. And my contemplative life is when I go off to that place by myself. And there’s a little bit of a hermit in me. I like to be by myself. I like to, I like the quiet, but I’m very social and very involved and very out there and have fun. And I have friends, even parishioners who I, are phenomenal support to me. And we have a lot of fun together. But I need to pull back and go to my place and that to me is my Carmelite spirituality is really the kind of the desert place, going to the desert. And it doesn’t have to be a physical desert, because that would drive me crazy. With all due respect to my classmate, roommate, college roommate Bill Harry, who lives in the desert and loves it, I need to be in an urban area, you know, but that’s where you find contemplation.

I remember when I was in college, someone gave me a book, a blank book, and it was, there was a famous spirituality book called The Cloud of Unknowing. And the title that they had written was The Bus of Unknowing. And it was for my urban spirituality, for me to write my book on urban spirituality. I’m finding God in the streets and on the bus, which I do. And so that, that’s, as a Carmelite, that’s just who I am.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): You mentioned you kind of had plans where you thought you wanted to go, but the province and God had some other directions for you, which rings to such the mendicant core of the Carmelites. going and serving where you’re needed in the community. That’s the call. As I understand it, you have some rather unique ministries you see up here on top of just, you know, I’m going to call them the general every day, but who cares?

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): In addition to being passed.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): In addition to, yes, you have a couple of other unique ones you’re rather proud of.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): So being part of this community for so many years, I know a lot of people in the community, in the county, So for the past 15 years, I’ve served as the chaplain to the Cresskill Police Department. Later on, I became chaplain to the fire department. I’m also the chaplain to the Bergen County Police Chiefs Association, as well as a chaplain in the chaplain bureau at the Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office. And those positions many of them are, the responsibilities of those are come to this event and say a prayer and do that kind of thing. With the prosecutor’s office and sometimes with the police department, it’s a little bit more, they call upon you in the time of crisis. And I’m happy to, it’s not my forte. I like happy things. So, but just for example, A couple of years ago, the early morning, the phone rang and I saw it was the police chief. I said, this can’t be good. And it was him asking me to come with him to a parishioner neighbor, actually, whose wife was killed in a car accident and to go and tell the husband and the family. And I was there for that family as much as the police chief. You know, it’s like, It’s a support system that pulls you together. And so sometimes families are in trouble and one of those agencies will say, can you help this family out? And so the connections are very, very pertinent and important. And it’s fun because they’re crazy people, policemen and firemen, especially firemen. And they’re a lot of fun to be with as well. So you get both sides of the coin. You get to experience that as well.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): And that is also a good example of, you are such, as you said, a member of the community, that as a Carmelite Friar, you know the community, have been with the community. It’s probably another reason Father O’Brien asked I need you to come back and replace me, to have that continuity of not just the Carmelite presence, but an individual who knows the experience. You’ve seen them be kids, grow up, get married, have kids, who have kids, who are still here. So I’m assuming a very active parish. Any particular events or functions that stand out unique celebrations that take place throughout the year here, that are unique kind of this region or this parish.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): Well, one of our prized possessions is we have, every month we have a mass for families who have children with special needs. And that’s an offshoot of a program that every Easter, there’s an organization here in Bergen County called the American Special Children’s Pilgrimage Group. And every year they take a group of children, young adults, to Lourdes, to the shrine in Lourdes in France, and spend the week with them and giving their parents the opportunity to stay home. For some parents, it was since the day that child was born, it was the first time that they did not have to wake up and be that child’s caregiver. Someone else was giving them some space to relax a little bit. And so it’s a gift to the parents as well as the kids, because they have a phenomenal time. It’s a lot of fun.

But in the context of that, the founder of that organization and I were in a conversation about how to bring the spirit of that reality back home. And that led to the monthly mass. So the mass is very much in the spirit of the Lord’s week, Easter week, which our special needs children from all over the world come to Lourdes that day, thousands upon thousands. And the music is fun and the kids, what happens is those children and folks who have those needs, they can come here and feel safe. Kids sometimes with autism scream out. And if they’re at mass, sometimes people will look at them or say, that doesn’t happen here. They could do whatever they do and everything just keeps flowing. And they have a sense that the parents, that nobody’s going to look at them and nobody’s going to tell them to be quiet. And they can enjoy the mass and the liturgy and the music. And And they have just a marvelous time. And they have formed over the years a wonderful community that spills out into a social afterwards, obviously, and all of that. And then our parishioners, particularly some of our seniors, have taken on the responsibility of providing the food, cookies, cake, that sort of stuff. after the mass. And that has become a whole new ministry and a joy for them. And it’s been a wonderful thing in that sense. So it’s great. It’s a great thing.

And we have a lot of other things. That’s not the only thing. We do have a very successful social justice ministry, obviously. And we do a lot. We have a sister parish in Jersey City. We collect food, we collect clothes, we collect anything that they need. The people of this parish are extremely generous when it comes to people in need, particularly. And if a need arises and I come to the parish, they respond. I say, we need cereal. We get truckloads of cereal, not just boxes, but truckloads of cereal. And it’s like that with anything that you come to them with. That’s the nature of this parish. It has always been the nature of this parish. And it’s one of the things I love about this parish. People are very aware of right and wrong and fall on the side of right and do the right thing for their neighbors, even people they don’t know. So they’re just wonderful people.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): I think that’s a, from what I have seen in my 30 somewhat, that’s a huge part of Carmel too. And that’s because of Carmel’s, but not having a Saint Carmel, but just following in the footsteps of Jesus.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): Right.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): Jesus dealt with everybody the same. And I see that so uniquely in the Carmelites day-to-day, not that I don’t see it in other religious orders, but so forefront in the Carmelites. And I think those things you mentioned were just. Good examples of that.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): Yeah. And I think that’s a gift that Carmelites have, to be able to relate to people as people. I think in my five years as parochial vicar, that Father Joe O’Brien really taught me how to be a priest, how to be a priest. He is a priest’s priest. And to bring those two worlds together, being a Carmelite and a priest, because not all Carmelites are priests. But to be a Carmelite and a priest, his skill set in being available to people, he remembers everybody’s name. He’s connected to families. And he really modeled that part of our life, of being, we’re part of a Carmelite family, but we’re part of something else when we’re parish priests particularly. That adds a whole beautiful dimension to fill out that picture. It’s not just being a Carmelite. We’re not just Carmelites. We’re Carmelites in community with the people that we serve. And serve is the key phrase there. That’s the only reason we’re here, is to serve them. It has nothing to do with our own self. And that’s why going back to what we were talking about before, when the Carmelites asked me to do this and I wanted to do that, you have to remember those words on profession day of the reading that you went in one direction, but now someone has put a belt around you and is taking you in another direction. And you just got to go with that and trust that. And my experience has been whenever you do something you didn’t want to do, it turns out to be phenomenal. it’s just God is calling you to something bigger and better than yourself. And so I think that’s all part of our Carmelite heritage, our Carmelite tradition. You know, I’m grateful to all of those teachers and mentors that I had. You know, Father Joe stands out as, I think, the premier mentor in terms of my priesthood and my success here as a priest at Saint Therese. And he’s here today. He’s 88 years old and he comes every week and says mass. He’s still here and he’s still teaching me. He’s still showing me how to do it, challenging me by that ability at 88 years old to just keep going. Keep going because the people need you.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): If you could say anything to young individuals discerning, A, discerning if religious life, but B, once they’ve kind of discerned religious life, if they’re going to discern Carmel, what would be your message to them that might help them discern if they are, if this might be the right path for them, Carmel?

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): So if the thought popped into their head to spark the conversation, I would tell them the same thing the angel told Mary, first and foremost, don’t be afraid. And then I would tell them, you’re not in this for yourself. If you’re in this for yourself, if you’re coming to Carmel or to the religious life to be safe, to be comfortable, it’s not what it’s about. If you’re coming because you want to, you know, be a leader, that’s fine, but it has to be a servant leader. You have to know that this is about what you are here in this world for in terms of your relationships with other people. And you have to be ready to sacrifice and you have to be ready to let go. And you have to just be yourself. And if you’re coming here to be something else, if you’re escaping something, this isn’t the place because this is life. If you think you’re going to come here and not have conflicts and not have personality clashes, have everything that you have in the real world, you’re fooling yourself. But if you’re coming here to bring your gifts, to bring your talents, to bring your love, to bring your faith, to break that open with the other Carmelites and the people you serve, you’ll be very happy here.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): Something, as you mentioned, that I think stands out kind of unique among the Carmelites is that when you think of Franciscans or Jesuits, there’s a particular ministry for each of the orders that typically that’s going to be where they go. And the Carmelites are the true sense of mendicant. What does the community need? And I think when you talk about bringing the talents to the order and to the ministry, that’s with the Carmelites, what skills and talents do you have and you’re willing to share? And there’s a community that needs them and will get you to that community and allow you to share them. That’s my own little.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): Yeah, I agree, 100%.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): This parish in particular, because you have seen people go from young married, then their kids, then Just for you personally, and this may not be Carmelite in general, this is just you personally, what has that brought to your life to be able to see that happen?

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): Well, it brings you an intimacy with people. It brings a closeness with people. It’s a privilege. to walk with people in those special moments in their life. And, I have my own family and my own nieces and nephews, and they all live not too far away, and they come here all the time. And I have that connectedness, that family connectedness that Italians have. And we’re a very close family. But yet I have this extended family and people who welcoming into their homes and into their lives. And you’re there at special moments for them, particularly the difficult ones at times of sickness or death. And you walk with them through those moments. It’s A privilege, really. And you have people you know, like you said, all their lives. And they come to you because they know you when they get in trouble. or they get sick or something like that, or they’re having a problem in their marriage, or whatever it is, they trust you, they know you. And you truly know them.

Somebody can come to me and go, yeah, I remember when you were in grade school, you did the exact same thing, and this is what your problem is. So, it’s kind of, it’s kind of like, We don’t all always have this kind of a unique experience of being 22 years in one place and having that kind of a connection with some people, but it is part of the reality. I’m coming to that point where this part of my life is going to change again. I’m past retirement age, but I’m not done. This is the Father Joe O’Brien challenge. And I don’t think that priests or Carmelites retire the way that other people, it’s like you don’t retire to the country club and the golf course. You retire to different things, and you make yourself available in different ways.

And again, it’s self-inflicted, but it’s the same dynamic that when you come to this point where the traditional ministries and responsibilities are no longer imposed upon you or asked of you, then there’s an unknown. Now every retired, now that part of my police chaplaincy is retired police officers because they have a very, very difficult time. And police officers and priests of the same psychological DNA in terms of why they do what they do. It’s service of others. And so when you wake up one day and that’s no longer there, for them it becomes very, for some of them it becomes very difficult. I think the same could be true for us unless, as I try to help some of those guys with the same questions, we redirect our purpose and our reason for being here.

And so I think that you never stop being a Carmelite, you never stop being a priest, and you never stop being in this world as a Carmelite for anything, for any other reason than to be at the service of God’s people. I think retirement can give you an opportunity that is both frightening and challenging, at the same time. And I go back to what I would say to that person, what the angel said to Mary, don’t be afraid. You know, if I’m retiring this year, I don’t know where I’m going to be sitting this time next year. Okay, I’ll be sitting somewhere doing something. And hopefully it’s meaningful and hopefully it’s life-giving and hopefully It’s spreading the Carmelite spirituality and presence in the world. However God calls us to do that. Some are called to, we’re all called to different ways because we’re used by the gifts that we have. And I’m nowhere near ready to go to the home. So there’s a lot left on my plate, God willing. and I’m ready to do it, whatever it might be. And I think that that’s the gift of this life and the gift of, religious life. It gives you a lot of freedom. You might, people might see religious life as, oh my God, why would you want to have your life controlled or put into a little box like that? Quite the opposite. It gives you a lot of freedom, a lot of freedom, and hopefully it’s freedom to serve the children of God.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): In Father Bill’s NGO interview, at the end, he made a comment, and I think it was a quote from Pope Francis or somebody. I don’t know where this is going or how much longer it’s going to last, but it’s going to be fun.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): He said that, yeah. Yeah, I’ve heard that.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): And so many of the current, well, Father Peter, for example, I mean, up until very recently, he was still doing football masses up at the school. I can’t think of any of them that are still physically able, that aren’t still doing some ministry or some sort of ministry, no matter how small or large. Yeah.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): I would imagine I would be doing something.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): I think that’s it. So thank you very much for your time. I appreciate it.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): You’re welcome. Thank you.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): Thank you for sharing the stories. Sure. All right.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): Okay.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): Thank you.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): Thank you.

Q (Ken Pino | Interviewer): All right.

A (Fr. Samuel Citero, O.Carm.): And cut.