This is the eighth of eleven reflections on Thomas Merton’s teaching on the True Self/False Self dynamic. This conflictual but enlightening relationship permeates Merton’s huge quantity of writing on the spiritual life. The basic point of the conflict is the individual’s pull toward and away from God, one’ true and ultimate destiny. Merton’s exposure of the consequences of original sin is ruthless in its intensity. This is the task of the False Self. At the same time, the pull of the True Self, the ever-present call of God’s personal and passionate love, is even more powerful. The human heart is the battlefield of this seemingly endless confrontation.
Teresa repeats over and over again: humility is the truth. Our essential reality is that God is the Creator and we are the creature. This essential virtue helps us to recognize and accept the actual person we are before God. Humility lets us integrate this certain truth.
Humility is not about a loss of self-esteem. This is a dishonest and damaging application of humility. Such a state is disturbing and conflicted. Teresa, on the contrary, says, “Humility does not disturb or disquiet however great it may be; it comes with peace, delight, and calm…this humility expands the soul and enables it to serve God more.” (W. 10.2)
To know and embrace the humble truth about ourselves is the source of our freedom. As we break away from the bondage of the False Self, we slowly begin to see more clearly who God is. This is the essential source of our humility. With the ascendance of the True Self, we also see the truth about ourselves. Humility opens us up to the necessary personal conversion that leads to constant growth in self-knowledge. It lets us grasp the wonder of God calling us into the Mystery of Love, even given the power of the False Self. Through the gift of humility, God allows us to see the unrelenting divine embrace of mercy and love even in the midst of our many faults and failures.
Teresa has numerous statements on humility. The following one, however, seems to best capture her basic message on the topic of this virtue.
“Once I was pondering why our Lord was so fond of this virtue of humility and this thought came to me… It is because God is supreme Truth; and to be humble is to walk in truth, for it is a very deep truth that of ourselves we have nothing good but only misery and nothingness. Whoever does not understand this walks in falsehood.” (IC 6.10.7)
Merton has a practical application of the insight of Teresa. He says we seldom see the truth that would lead to the solution of our personal, social and political problems. We need to recognize that we all are more or less wrong in one way or another, we share mixed motives, self-deception, pride, self-righteousness, and a tendency to aggression not to mention hypocrisy.
The Big Lie of “Honor”
A good example of living the lie for Teresa was the dominating role of “honor” in her time. For Teresa, this was a lie that infiltrated all of society, and even religious life. It is not that much different in our day. Countless petty grievances rooted in a false sense of respect, privilege, prestige and control prohibit the path to forgiveness and reconciliation. Walking in the truth of humility frees us from this crippling false consciousness that is a singular obstacle to love of God and love of neighbor.
The Humble Father of the Two Sons
Recently, I was reflecting on the parable of the Two Sons. I began to realize that it was a powerful example of true humility in the person of the father.
The whole scene of the returning Prodigal Son is a litany of violations of the expected behavior for the father. It was totally uncouth to leave the house, and even worst, to run. The embrace was completely out of character for an older man in this culture. The fattened calf in these circumstances was simply unheard of. Every accepted ritual for an offended father was shattered resulting in a total loss of dignity. All the broken cultural norms gave further force to the father’s overwhelming cry: I love you! I forgive you! I accept you in great joy! You are back and nothing else matters. On with the party!
The same routine, in a more subtle way, was carried out in the case of the second son.
The father left the house once again in violation of the demands of his dignity. He gave no credence to the despicable description of him as a horrible and unconcerned father. The hostility and anger were met with his hand reaching out in mercy and understanding. The self-pity was countered with a declaration that all that he had was intended for his son. The withdrawal was challenged with the invitation to join the celebration.
The father had before him the clear biblical choice of life or death. On the one hand, he had the societal requirement of what was fitting behavior for a deeply offended father. He had the choice of protecting the respect and privilege appropriate to his role as a severely insulted father. It was his right to apply the painful consequences of this outrageous neglect of parental privilege. All of this was propped up by the expectations of his culture and societal rituals of parental respect. It was a non-negotiable fact that his honor must be protected. On the other hand, if he chose this set of values, it was death to his two sons.
His choice of life, driven by his humility, set him free from the crippling demands of respect and privilege demanded by society’s rigid norms. This is a clear and forceful example of a choice of the True Self over the False Self. Now, his humble presence to the two sons offered them life and freedom. It was a rich expression of God’s Truth.
Reconciling Power of Humility
All of us suffer from the biased perceptions that protect our claims of privilege, prestige and control. This is the false consciousness that strangles and blinds the possibility of reconciling love and forgiveness. Teresa has this to say about this death-dealing mentality.
“You should run a thousand miles from such expressions as: “I was right.” “They had no reason for doing this to me.” “The one who did this to me was wrong.” God deliver us from this poor way of reason. Does it seem right that our good Jesus suffered so many insults and was made to undergo so much injustice? I don’t know why the nun who doesn’t want to carry the cross, except the one that seems to her reasonable, is in the monastery.” (W 13.1-2)
To reconcile, we need to forget ourselves in humility. This frees us from the possessiveness of our works and reputation that are a blockage to serving God and living in harmony with our brothers and sisters. Here, again, we have an example of the power of the True Self in action.
The Story of God’s Mercy
Humility helps us appreciate two fundamental truths about our human condition. We are created in the image of God and union with God is our true destiny. Right at the beginning of The Interior Castle Teresa says: “We realize that the soul of a good person is nothing else but a paradise where the Lord says He finds His delight.” (IC 1.1) The other truth is a basic challenge to our true destiny. Without the mercy of God, we are caught in a helpless impasse. These two truths are at the heart of the struggle between the True Self and the False Self.
Our task is to accept this two-fold truth of our broken situation. We are helpless sinners but loved and forgiven in Christ Jesus our Savior. This is the reality rooted in the True Self. This the reality that humility opens to us as we are gradually set free from the immobilizing captivity of sin rooted in the False Self.
Hopefully, we will accept the truth of who God is and who we are. Then, we can share the truth of humility with Teresa and say: “The story of my life is the story of God’s mercy.”